Woman Refuses to Allow Her Mother-in-law to Watch Her Baby After Seeing Her Parenting, MIL Turns to Son for Support

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Sep 4, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. The relationship between your mother-in-law and you can sometimes get a little sticky. It's common to have strife and feelings of discomfort, but there are limits to how you should allow your MIL to act with you. 

When caring for your newborn, it's your responsibility and right to parent the child how you want. No one can force you to agree to anything, and anyone trying to is out of their mind. This brings us to the Reddit thread. The MIL has been an obviously terrible mother to the woman's husband, and even he thinks so. She was mostly absent all of his life, but now that he has the baby, she wants to be involved. This is all well, except for when she assumes that she'll be babysitting the baby. The woman puts her foot down, refuses to let her babysit on the grounds that she was such a terrible mother. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH 1 yr. ago Aggressive Cup_5808 AITA for telling MIL that I would never let her watch my baby?
    via u/Aggressive Cup_5808
  • 02
    I gave birth to a baby girl a week ago. I'm slightly obsessed, honestly, and my husband isn't too far behind me. Everything about our daughter is perfect. To say I am very protective already. would be an understatement but I will admit that maybe I'm a bit wrong here- though I can't tell. I feel that I'm mostly valid.
    via u/Aggressive Cup_5808
  • 03
    So, basically, my MIL was a mom to my husband and his brother. The amount of times I have heard her talk about how she used to leave them home by themselves when they were 3 and 4 years old while she went to work 12-16 hour shifts at the hospital or went to the laundromat and would come
    via u/Aggressive Cup_5808
  • 04
    home to the police there is insane. And then when the boys were 6 and 7, she left country to go visit her mother and left the boys with their father, whom didn't know the boys, and refused all contact for over a year. In the end, the boys ended up in foster care for over 2 years (their dad brought them to CPS and
    via u/Aggressive Cup_5808
  • 05
    dropped them off) and when she did regain custody of them, she once again left them home alone because she started seeing some guy who didn't want kids and moved in with him. So the boys fended for themselves for 5+ years (she bought them groceries and made sure they went to school but they literally lived
    via u/Aggressive Cup_5808
  • 06
    alone in a trailer on their families property). She tried being a mom again when they were 16 and 17 and my husband has forgiven her but I don't trust her regardless. I would never in a million years trust her to watch my daughter because of what she put her own children through. I understand that years have passed since this
    via u/Aggressive Cup_5808
  • 07
    all happened and yes, she tries making up for it now, but she is still very much so I the mindset of her not doing anything wrong because my husband turned out "alright" (he has severe abandonment issues). Her other son has been in prison since he was 23.
    via u/Aggressive Cup_5808
  • 08
    So, she came over here a few days ago and said something like "I need to get a crib for my house so she has somewhere to sleep". I asked why and she said "well for when I'm babysitting". Originally I told her that we wouldn't be needing a sitter for quite some time and she argued that I would
    via u/Aggressive Cup_5808
  • 09
    need to go back to work and "daycares can't be trusted". I don't even know why it came out of my mouth but I said "neither can you. I wouldn't let you or a daycare watch my baby". Now there's issues because everyone is that I would bring up the fact that she's untrustworthy (except my husband but he is disappointed).
    via u/Aggressive Cup_5808
  • 10
    ETA: my husband is going to be 29 in December so this stuff was happening (starting) 26 years ago. He isn't disappointed that I won't let his mom watch the baby because he said he doesn't trust her either but he expected me to sugarcoat it and let her believe there was a chance she would someday be allowed around our
    via u/Aggressive Cup_5808
  • 11
    baby unattended to babysit her. So, he basically wanted me to lie to her and make her believe there was a chance when there isn't.
    via u/Aggressive Cup_5808
  • 12
    • TarzanKitty 1y ago NTA Why would you trust her with your child when she neglected her own children? I wouldn't trust her to care for a goldfish.
    via u/TarzanKitty
  • 13
    The RealMeetMou... . 1y ago She left a 3 year old by themselves while she worked at 16 hour shift? I mean you're NTA if this is all true.
    via u/RealMeetMou
  • 14
    TarzanKitty 1y ago 26 is really recent. It isn't really back in the day. My oldest is 32. I don't know a single person who would have left toddlers home alone for 20 minutes.
    via u/TarzanKitty
  • 15
    • Kattymcnugget 1y ago NTA. Truth hurts. I wouldn't trust her either. She has a track record of not being capable of caring for children. As mom it is your call who gets to watch your children and you are well within your rights to deny her that.
    via u/Kattymcnugget
  • 16
    Broad-Discipline23... • 1y ago Why would your husband be disappointed?!?!?! Is he ok with his child being neglected?!?!?! Smh
    via u/Broad-Discipline23
  • 17
    WTAF who in their right mind would think that woman should ever watch any vulnerable being? Like another commenter said, I wouldn't let her watch my goldfish!
    via u/Broad-Discipline23
  • 18
    I'd move far far away from all the people who think this is ok. Also, your husband needs therapy. I would not have another child with him until he sorts his mommy issues. Nta
    via u/Broad-Discipline23
  • 19
    • MamaPagan 1y ago NTA As someone who suffers from abandonment issues, you're husband's TA. He shouldn't let her anywhere near the baby. He shouldn't want you to lie or sugarcoat anything.
    via u/MamaPagan
  • 20
    Good on him for being able to forgive child endangerment, neglect, and abandonment. Now his mom can continue to believe that she did nothing wrong because he forgave her, so it's fine right?
    via u/MamaPagan
  • 21
    The fact that he wanted you to lie and risk the future health of your baby is B's and I sincerely hope he can grow a spine and stand by you. She deserves to be told. her of a mom she was, and that's why she won't be trusted to be alone with the baby.
    via u/MamaPagan

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